Your Rights as a Father

What's written in the court order on custody, sometimes called a "parenting plan" or "visitation schedule," is what's legally enforceable. So it's very important to think through any difficulties you and your soon-to-be-ex may have making a visitation schedule work before you put your plan to paper.

Issues that should be dealt with in detail in your court order if you're the noncustodial parent include:

•Exact days and times the children will spend with you. Phrases like "reasonable visitation" don't get you far when you're dealing with an uncooperative custodial parent.

•What holidays the children will spend with you, and the exact days and times these holidays will begin and end

•What contact the children can have with you during the time they're with the custodial parent, including phone calls and emails

•Your ability to participate in the childrens' school and extra-curricular activities, and the custodial parent's duty to inform you of these events

•Your access to school and medical records

•Who will provide transportation for the children, especially if you live far away and transportation is expensive

If you've already got a custody order, how do you enforce it when the custodial parent doesn't honor it? If it's an occasional problem, try to be flexible in rearranging your schedule. Make sure you make up the missed time as soon as possible.

If the problem persists, you'll want to document the violations of the order before seeing an attorney. An easy way to document violations of a custody order is with a simple calendar, writing notes about the time lost with your child and your efforts to reschedule the visits. After you can show a pattern of behavior, you can work with a lawyer to get the order enforced in court.

In many states, consistent violations of a custody order can be grounds for changing custody, especially if the custodial parent is alienating the children with negative remarks and withholding information about the children from the noncustodial parent.

In most states, the police will assist you in enforcing a visitation order. But you'll want to think carefully about the impact the appearance of police officers on their doorstep may have on your children. Sometimes simply threatening to get the police involved will coerce the custodial parent into honoring the visitation order.

Eric M. Gansberg is your #1 source for father rights and family law in New York and Staten Island! He has the background and experience to make sure that your rights as a father are enforced! Choose Eric M. Gansberg for all your paternity rights needs!