As a divorced parent, you worry when the other parent makes derogatory remarks and tries to give your child a negative image of you. But when do mere derogatory remarks turn into a harmful psychological phenomenon that psychologists have labeled the "parental alienation syndrome"?
Parental alienation syndrome occurs when one parent's efforts to consciously or unconsciously brainwash a child combine with the child's own bad-mouthing of the other parent. In severe cases, the child will not want to see or talk to the alienated parent.
Once the alienation reaches such a point, it is difficult to reverse, and permanent damage is done to the child and to the relationship between the child and the alienated parent
What causes a parent to want to damage the relationship of their own child with the other parent, at their own child's expense? Intentions differ from one parent to the next, but psychologists have suggested the following as potential motivators:
•An alienating parent may have unresolved anger toward the other parent for perceived wrongs during the relationship, and may be unable to separate those issues from parenting issues.
•An alienating parent may have unresolved issues from their childhood, particularly in how they related to their own parents, which he or she projects onto the other parent (whether or not it is factually accurate).
•An alienating parent may have a personality disorder, such as narcissism or paranoia, which makes him or her unable to empathize with the child's feelings or see the way their behavior is harming the child. Such personality disorders may also make the alienating parent more likely to be jealous of the other parent's adjustment to the breakup, and cause the alienating parent to have extreme rage toward the other parent.
•An alienating parent may be so insecure as to his or her own parenting skills that he or she projects those concerns onto the other parent, regardless of reality.
•An alienating parent may be so wrapped up in their child's life that he or she has no separate identity, and sees the child's relationship with the other parent as a threat.
•Sometimes new spouses or grandparents push the alienating parent into inappropriate behavior for their own inappropriate reasons, and the alienating parent isn't strong enough to resist them.
Showing posts with label staten island attorney. Show all posts
Showing posts with label staten island attorney. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Monday, December 14, 2009
Living Together with Your Partner: Choose Wisely
You've found someone you want to live with, but marriage isn't in the cards right now. Before you move in together, it's a good idea to think through the legal implications of sharing a life and a home. A little bit of communication about your expectations can go a long way toward avoiding future problems.
When you're not married, you don't have many of the legal protections given to those with a marriage certificate. Until the relationship is firmly established and you have a long history of stability, you'll probably want to:
•Keep separate bank accounts
•Avoid contributing financially to buy an asset which will be held just in your partner's name
•Maintain your ability to support yourself separate and apart from any promises of support made to you by your partner
•Avoid making promises to support your partner, either now or in the future
•Take care not to present yourself as "husband and wife" or adopt the same last name of your partner as if you were married
It isn't romantic to plan for a break-up, but it happens just like in marriages - except divorce laws protect both sides when a marriage ends.
More and more unmarried couples living together are putting together a contract - called a cohabitation contract or "living together agreement" that answers some of these questions:
•How will you split living expenses and who will be responsible for paying bills?
•Who's paying the mortgage or rent? Is it an even split or is one person paying less but planning to do more work around the place?
•What happens if you break up? Will your home automatically be put up for sale or rent? How will your property be divided?
•If you end up selling the house, who's going to pay closing costs, repair costs and moving expenses?
•What happens if one person wants to buy out the other? How can you determine a fair price?
•Who currently owns what property and what property will be jointly owned in the future?
'
Anyone can write and sign a contract - but make sure to do it in front of witnesses. It's not always necessary to get an attorney, but it's almost always safer. And if both parties can afford to get their own attorneys to look over the agreement, that's even better, because neither person can complain later they didn't understand what they were doing in signing the agreement.
Eric M. Gansberg is your #1 source for attorney representation for cohabitants in New York and Staten Island! He has the background and experience to make sure your rights and needs are protected. Choose Eric M. Gansberg for all your attorney needs!
When you're not married, you don't have many of the legal protections given to those with a marriage certificate. Until the relationship is firmly established and you have a long history of stability, you'll probably want to:
•Keep separate bank accounts
•Avoid contributing financially to buy an asset which will be held just in your partner's name
•Maintain your ability to support yourself separate and apart from any promises of support made to you by your partner
•Avoid making promises to support your partner, either now or in the future
•Take care not to present yourself as "husband and wife" or adopt the same last name of your partner as if you were married
It isn't romantic to plan for a break-up, but it happens just like in marriages - except divorce laws protect both sides when a marriage ends.
More and more unmarried couples living together are putting together a contract - called a cohabitation contract or "living together agreement" that answers some of these questions:
•How will you split living expenses and who will be responsible for paying bills?
•Who's paying the mortgage or rent? Is it an even split or is one person paying less but planning to do more work around the place?
•What happens if you break up? Will your home automatically be put up for sale or rent? How will your property be divided?
•If you end up selling the house, who's going to pay closing costs, repair costs and moving expenses?
•What happens if one person wants to buy out the other? How can you determine a fair price?
•Who currently owns what property and what property will be jointly owned in the future?
'
Anyone can write and sign a contract - but make sure to do it in front of witnesses. It's not always necessary to get an attorney, but it's almost always safer. And if both parties can afford to get their own attorneys to look over the agreement, that's even better, because neither person can complain later they didn't understand what they were doing in signing the agreement.
Eric M. Gansberg is your #1 source for attorney representation for cohabitants in New York and Staten Island! He has the background and experience to make sure your rights and needs are protected. Choose Eric M. Gansberg for all your attorney needs!
Unmarried Couples Buying Property
It's tough for a couple to buy a house. It's even tougher when they're not married.
When qualifying for a loan, mortgage companies refuse to look at any unmarried couple - straight or gay - as having joint assets. Instead, they're seen as two separate individuals buying a house together. It doesn't matter if they have proof of their commitment, such as wills, trusts or jointly owned property.
From a legal standpoint, getting both names on the deed is critical if they're to share ownership.
Instead, they say, there's a tendency for a woman to believe her boyfriend when he says the house is really half hers. When the couple splits, the reality can be far different.
Besides including both names on the title, a couple should decide what happens if one person dies. It's depressing to think about, but it's vital to not leave the survivor out in the cold.
Many people choose "joint tenancy with the right of survivorship," which means the surviving partner gets sole ownership of the house. While this title makes transferring property easy, it could result in some heavy taxes if the house is worth a lot.
Another option is "tenants in common" or "partners in a partnership." If one person dies, that person's will determines what happens to his or her share. If there's no will, it will most likely go to the closest relative.
Liz Winfeld and her partner Susan Spielman had to deal with the hassle. When the couple bought their first house together in Massachusetts, not being married added to the stress and hassle.
"Susan ended up qualifying, but I didn't," she says. So Susan put the deed in her name. Once she took possession of the property, they met with an attorney to re-issue the deed with both their names on the title.
"Everyone acts like gays want the right to marry so that we can get dressed up, have a fancy ceremony and register at Macy's," says Winfeld, a workplace consultant and author. "It's not. It's all about getting the same legal and financial protection that married couples have."
Unmarried couples have to take extra steps to get the legal protection that married couples automatically get, whether it involves buying a house or writing a will. If they don't, it could be a recipe for leaving a partner bereft.
Eric M. Gansberg is your #1 source for unmarried couples purchasing real estate in New York and Staten Island! He has the background andexperience to make sure that the process is smooth and ethical! Choose Eric M. Gasnberg for all your real estate needs!
When qualifying for a loan, mortgage companies refuse to look at any unmarried couple - straight or gay - as having joint assets. Instead, they're seen as two separate individuals buying a house together. It doesn't matter if they have proof of their commitment, such as wills, trusts or jointly owned property.
From a legal standpoint, getting both names on the deed is critical if they're to share ownership.
Instead, they say, there's a tendency for a woman to believe her boyfriend when he says the house is really half hers. When the couple splits, the reality can be far different.
Besides including both names on the title, a couple should decide what happens if one person dies. It's depressing to think about, but it's vital to not leave the survivor out in the cold.
Many people choose "joint tenancy with the right of survivorship," which means the surviving partner gets sole ownership of the house. While this title makes transferring property easy, it could result in some heavy taxes if the house is worth a lot.
Another option is "tenants in common" or "partners in a partnership." If one person dies, that person's will determines what happens to his or her share. If there's no will, it will most likely go to the closest relative.
Liz Winfeld and her partner Susan Spielman had to deal with the hassle. When the couple bought their first house together in Massachusetts, not being married added to the stress and hassle.
"Susan ended up qualifying, but I didn't," she says. So Susan put the deed in her name. Once she took possession of the property, they met with an attorney to re-issue the deed with both their names on the title.
"Everyone acts like gays want the right to marry so that we can get dressed up, have a fancy ceremony and register at Macy's," says Winfeld, a workplace consultant and author. "It's not. It's all about getting the same legal and financial protection that married couples have."
Unmarried couples have to take extra steps to get the legal protection that married couples automatically get, whether it involves buying a house or writing a will. If they don't, it could be a recipe for leaving a partner bereft.
Eric M. Gansberg is your #1 source for unmarried couples purchasing real estate in New York and Staten Island! He has the background andexperience to make sure that the process is smooth and ethical! Choose Eric M. Gasnberg for all your real estate needs!
Selecting a Great Family Law Attorney
Choosing the right lawyer to help you in your divorce is hard work. But it's important and worth taking the time to do it right.
First, ask yourself what it is you're trying to accomplish. Do you just need an uncontested divorce? Is mediation a possibility? Or has your relationship with your spouse deteriorated to the point that what you really need is simply a warrior to go forth and do bloody (and frightfully expensive) battle on your behalf in an adversarial divorce?
Are your affairs fairly simple, so that most any lawyer with basic understanding and good people skills can help you, or do you have complex property holdings and support goals, so that you need a lawyer with sophisticated tax and financial awareness to help you design a plan that yields the most after-tax dollars? Knowing the kind of legal services you're going to need will help you shop for those services more effectively.
Once you have a list of prospective lawyers, use the following guidelines to do some initial screening and narrow your list down to three or four prospective candidates:
•Look at biographical information, including whatever you can find on Web sites for the lawyers and their law firms. Do they appear to have expertise in the area of family law that you need? Do they have any information on their Web sites that is helpful to you?
•Use search engines to surf the Internet. Do searches under the name of the lawyer and his or her law firm. Can you find any articles, FAQ's or other informational pieces that the lawyer has done that that give you a level of comfort?
•Ask other people if they have heard of the attorneys and what they think about them.
•Contact your state bar association or visit their Web site to find out if the lawyer is in good standing.
•Check out the yellow pages of your telephone directory. Does the lawyer advertise? If so, do you find it compelling? Helpful? Tasteful?
•Check out the online archives of your local newspaper. Has there been any publicity about the lawyer or the cases that he or she has handled?
•Consider any special needs you have. For example, could you benefit from an attorney who speaks a language other than English?
•Your analysis of each prospective lawyer begins with the first phone call. Many lawyers with predominantly courtroom practices are hard to reach on the telephone, so you may be spending a good bit of time with the person who answers the phone. Does the person answering seem pleasant? Well informed about the issues you are facing? Able to deliver results?
•Are you able to schedule an appointment with the lawyer easily? If the lawyer can't see you to talk about new business, it may be even harder to get his or her attention to talk about your case once it's been underway for a while.
Eric M. Gansberg is your #1 source for family law attorneys in New York and Staten Island. He has the background and experience to makse sure that the case goes in your favor! Choose Eric M. Gansberg for all your family law attorney needs!
First, ask yourself what it is you're trying to accomplish. Do you just need an uncontested divorce? Is mediation a possibility? Or has your relationship with your spouse deteriorated to the point that what you really need is simply a warrior to go forth and do bloody (and frightfully expensive) battle on your behalf in an adversarial divorce?
Are your affairs fairly simple, so that most any lawyer with basic understanding and good people skills can help you, or do you have complex property holdings and support goals, so that you need a lawyer with sophisticated tax and financial awareness to help you design a plan that yields the most after-tax dollars? Knowing the kind of legal services you're going to need will help you shop for those services more effectively.
Once you have a list of prospective lawyers, use the following guidelines to do some initial screening and narrow your list down to three or four prospective candidates:
•Look at biographical information, including whatever you can find on Web sites for the lawyers and their law firms. Do they appear to have expertise in the area of family law that you need? Do they have any information on their Web sites that is helpful to you?
•Use search engines to surf the Internet. Do searches under the name of the lawyer and his or her law firm. Can you find any articles, FAQ's or other informational pieces that the lawyer has done that that give you a level of comfort?
•Ask other people if they have heard of the attorneys and what they think about them.
•Contact your state bar association or visit their Web site to find out if the lawyer is in good standing.
•Check out the yellow pages of your telephone directory. Does the lawyer advertise? If so, do you find it compelling? Helpful? Tasteful?
•Check out the online archives of your local newspaper. Has there been any publicity about the lawyer or the cases that he or she has handled?
•Consider any special needs you have. For example, could you benefit from an attorney who speaks a language other than English?
•Your analysis of each prospective lawyer begins with the first phone call. Many lawyers with predominantly courtroom practices are hard to reach on the telephone, so you may be spending a good bit of time with the person who answers the phone. Does the person answering seem pleasant? Well informed about the issues you are facing? Able to deliver results?
•Are you able to schedule an appointment with the lawyer easily? If the lawyer can't see you to talk about new business, it may be even harder to get his or her attention to talk about your case once it's been underway for a while.
Eric M. Gansberg is your #1 source for family law attorneys in New York and Staten Island. He has the background and experience to makse sure that the case goes in your favor! Choose Eric M. Gansberg for all your family law attorney needs!
Military Divorces
Military divorces are governed by a combination of federal and state law. Military pension and certain emergency child support orders are dictated by federal law. State laws dictate the handling of all other matters pertaining to a military divorce.
Protection from Divorce Proceedings
Military personnel have some legal protection from divorce proceedings that are not granted to the public at large. Under the Servicemembers Civil Relief Act (SCRA) military men and women are protected from lawsuits including divorce proceedings to enable them "to devote their entire energy to the defense needs of the Nation." A court may delay legal proceeding for the time that the service member is on active duty and for 60 days following active duty.
Process Service
A state court will not be able to hear a case unless it has authority. The authority of a court to hear a case is called jurisdiction. Therefore, if the spouse of a military member is the one seeking a divorce, the active duty spouse must be personally served with a summons and petition for divorce in order for a state court to have jurisdiction over the military member.
If the active duty spouse is overseas or deployed, you may request that military authority serve your spouse, but your spouse must consent to service. If your spouse will not consent, you may request the court to appoint an officer of the court to serve the papers unless your spouse is serving on a ship or at a shore installation.
Residency and Filing Requirements
Many states allow a military member or spouse to file for a divorce in the state where the military person is stationed, even if neither the military member nor the spouse is a resident of that state. These states will often reduce or eliminate the residency requirement for military divorces.
A military member or spouse has a choice of the following three states in which to file for a divorce:
•State where the spouse resides
•State where the military member is stationed
•State where the military member claims legal residency (place where military member plans to live after discharge or retirement)
Although either spouse may file for divorce in any of the three locations listed above, the allowable grounds for divorce and property distribution are governed by the laws of the state where the divorce action is filed.
Grounds for Divorce
Eric Gansberg understand that the needs of military families are unique and he will work hard to make sure everything is completed in an amicable fashion! Choose Eric M. Gansberg for your lawyer in New York and Staten Island!
Protection from Divorce Proceedings
Military personnel have some legal protection from divorce proceedings that are not granted to the public at large. Under the Servicemembers Civil Relief Act (SCRA) military men and women are protected from lawsuits including divorce proceedings to enable them "to devote their entire energy to the defense needs of the Nation." A court may delay legal proceeding for the time that the service member is on active duty and for 60 days following active duty.
Process Service
A state court will not be able to hear a case unless it has authority. The authority of a court to hear a case is called jurisdiction. Therefore, if the spouse of a military member is the one seeking a divorce, the active duty spouse must be personally served with a summons and petition for divorce in order for a state court to have jurisdiction over the military member.
If the active duty spouse is overseas or deployed, you may request that military authority serve your spouse, but your spouse must consent to service. If your spouse will not consent, you may request the court to appoint an officer of the court to serve the papers unless your spouse is serving on a ship or at a shore installation.
Residency and Filing Requirements
Many states allow a military member or spouse to file for a divorce in the state where the military person is stationed, even if neither the military member nor the spouse is a resident of that state. These states will often reduce or eliminate the residency requirement for military divorces.
A military member or spouse has a choice of the following three states in which to file for a divorce:
•State where the spouse resides
•State where the military member is stationed
•State where the military member claims legal residency (place where military member plans to live after discharge or retirement)
Although either spouse may file for divorce in any of the three locations listed above, the allowable grounds for divorce and property distribution are governed by the laws of the state where the divorce action is filed.
Grounds for Divorce
Eric Gansberg understand that the needs of military families are unique and he will work hard to make sure everything is completed in an amicable fashion! Choose Eric M. Gansberg for your lawyer in New York and Staten Island!
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Types of Restraining Orders
Although the rules and names for restraining orders vary in every jurisdiction, there are three common types of restraining orders. The first type of restraining orders is an emergency protective order, which goes into effect immediately. Emergency protective orders usually arise in situations of police responding to domestic violence calls. A police officer can call a judge at any time and request the emergency protective order if the officer feels it is necessary to prevent imminent harm. An emergency protective order only lasts a short amount of time, usually less than a week, and its purpose is to provide protection and give a victim time to apply for a restraining order.
The second type of restraining order is a temporary restraining order, which also lasts only a short period of time, usually less than a month. A temporary restraining order is issued when a victim applies for a restraining order. Its purpose is to provide the victim protection until a hearing can be held and a restraining order can be issued.
Permanent restraining order is the third type of restraining orders and is usually referred to as simply a restraining order. A permanent restraining order can be issued once a hearing has been held, and it can be in effect for up to a set number of years in some jurisdictions. Permanent restraining orders can be renewed or extended if the victim is still in danger of being subjected to abusive or harassing behavior when the order expires.
Eric M. Gansberg is your #1 source for restraining orders in New York and Staten Island! His background and experience will make sure you get everything you ask for! Choose Eric Gansberg for your restraining orders!
The second type of restraining order is a temporary restraining order, which also lasts only a short period of time, usually less than a month. A temporary restraining order is issued when a victim applies for a restraining order. Its purpose is to provide the victim protection until a hearing can be held and a restraining order can be issued.
Permanent restraining order is the third type of restraining orders and is usually referred to as simply a restraining order. A permanent restraining order can be issued once a hearing has been held, and it can be in effect for up to a set number of years in some jurisdictions. Permanent restraining orders can be renewed or extended if the victim is still in danger of being subjected to abusive or harassing behavior when the order expires.
Eric M. Gansberg is your #1 source for restraining orders in New York and Staten Island! His background and experience will make sure you get everything you ask for! Choose Eric Gansberg for your restraining orders!
Your Finances at Divorce
You're getting a divorce, but have you thought about your financial situation after the divorce? Will you have enough income to meet your needs? You can take steps to reduce the strain on your finances that a divorce will have by preparing and sticking to a budget. The marriage is a bust and you've decided to go it alone. Your spouse handled all the finances and bill paying. It's time to educate yourself on the costs of surviving on your own. Preparing a monthly budget will force you to recognize what it will take to meet your needs.
Now you have some tough but necessary decisions to make. Taking on another job is certainly an option and may even be a necessity. But you should first try to cut unnecessary expenses.
Assess what you need to survive versus what you would like to have. Even your fixed expenses can be reduced. Sell the high-priced home and car for something more affordable, downsize the cable and cell phone service and eliminate the land line. Cut such luxuries as regularly dining out, weekly movies, annual vacations or amusement park season passes.
Do not apply for new credit cards or loans to pay for any luxuries and do not overspend your budget. It will only make your financial condition worse. In time, your income will improve and you will be better equipped to make additional financial decisions on your own.
Eric M Gansberg is your #1 attorney to fight for your interests in a divorce in New York and Staten Island! His experience and background make him the solid solution in a sticky divorce! Choose Eric Gansberg for all your divorce attorney needs!
Now you have some tough but necessary decisions to make. Taking on another job is certainly an option and may even be a necessity. But you should first try to cut unnecessary expenses.
Assess what you need to survive versus what you would like to have. Even your fixed expenses can be reduced. Sell the high-priced home and car for something more affordable, downsize the cable and cell phone service and eliminate the land line. Cut such luxuries as regularly dining out, weekly movies, annual vacations or amusement park season passes.
Do not apply for new credit cards or loans to pay for any luxuries and do not overspend your budget. It will only make your financial condition worse. In time, your income will improve and you will be better equipped to make additional financial decisions on your own.
Eric M Gansberg is your #1 attorney to fight for your interests in a divorce in New York and Staten Island! His experience and background make him the solid solution in a sticky divorce! Choose Eric Gansberg for all your divorce attorney needs!
Adoption Law
Adoption law creates the legal relationship of parent and child between persons who are not each other's biological parent or child. It is largely a product of state law. Adoption laws vary from state to state. There are also different types of a legal adoption. But whether you decide go through an adoption agency or to adopt from a private person, a decree of adoption usually means that the legal relationship of the adopted child is completely severed with its biological parents and family. For all legal purposes, adopted children become the children of their adoptive parents
Both foster and adoption agencies strive to give a child a loving, permanent home. Typically that used to mean finding a young, married couple that had the same skin color as the child. People who are single, over 40, or gay still often face obstacles and delays in adopting a child. Even young, white couples wanting to adopt a child of a different race can face hassles.
It's not that people who don't fit the "traditional" parent profile can't legally adopt, it's just that it requires more patience. After all, hundreds of thousands of children are eagerly waiting to find parents. More than approximately 514,000 children were in foster care at the end of 2005 and about 115,000 of them were eligible to be adopted, according to reports by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.
Eric M. Gansberg is your #1 source for adoption family law in Staten Island and all of New York! He has a solid background and experience to fight for your rights! Choose Eric Gansberg for all your adoption law needs!
Both foster and adoption agencies strive to give a child a loving, permanent home. Typically that used to mean finding a young, married couple that had the same skin color as the child. People who are single, over 40, or gay still often face obstacles and delays in adopting a child. Even young, white couples wanting to adopt a child of a different race can face hassles.
It's not that people who don't fit the "traditional" parent profile can't legally adopt, it's just that it requires more patience. After all, hundreds of thousands of children are eagerly waiting to find parents. More than approximately 514,000 children were in foster care at the end of 2005 and about 115,000 of them were eligible to be adopted, according to reports by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.
Eric M. Gansberg is your #1 source for adoption family law in Staten Island and all of New York! He has a solid background and experience to fight for your rights! Choose Eric Gansberg for all your adoption law needs!
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